I haven't posted much lately because things here have been hectic or I've just been in a bad mood. Everytime I start posting anything negative on my blog, I end up going back and erasing it or not posting it at all. I don't want my blog to be an energy sucking space in my world. I want it to be full of positive things so that I want to return and be reminded of all that is good in the world.
So some of my challenges lately have included caring for my 70 year old mother who had major surgery, caring for everything at home and the hardest thing of all, cutting back on what I do. It's difficult to admit I am not Superwoman anymore. I used to be able to juggle the needs of family and friends so much better.
Maybe this weariness is just part of middle age; more likely though, it is the idea of not accepting this feeling that I think is really the big part of middle age, taking on the challenge of saying "no". Everytime I say "no" or "I can't handle that right now" I feel AWFUL. I feel like I let my kids down and abandoned my friends in need.
At times I think: how often are these people here for me? How often have they offered to lighten my load or have shared their joy with me? Some relationships in my world are simply defined by me doing something for them; outside of that, we have no interaction or exchanges at all. My challenge is to not go to that resentment place right away. My challenge is to acknowledge my part in that relationship and then (the really difficult part) change my lifestyle to one that is more positive for me.
Other challenges in my life have been more rewarding. For everything that was depleting my energy, I had some good things balancing my world: good friends, dogs, and oddly enough--my quilt guild's annual challenge. This is the first year I am entering something. I made my first memory quilt. I tried new methods and had a ball exploring outside my comfort zone. It was like combining scrapbooking with quilting and was a blast!
Below is one of the photographs I put on the quilt, it is my grandmother, Nana Elsie when she was only 16.
I love this photograph of her. She looks so pretty and her face seems so open and full of life. No wonder Pop was nuts about her! :) This photograph of her would have been taken around 1921.
I rarely show my guild anything I make because I am self-concious about my skill (or lack thereof) as a quiltmaker. I may have been doing this for a long time but I am just never going to be an award winning quilter. Accepting that at 50+ and acknowledging that I just want to play with fabric has been very liberating. I am hoping to borrow some other things from family members so I can continue to make more memory quilts. In the meantime, I will post my photography of my little wall hanging challenge thing after our meeting on Tuesday.
That's all I got for today, gotta get working.............
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Plants I love.......
I've worked hard to have color all year round in my garden. Late summer is when some of my plants really come into their own. Here are some of my favorite late summer bloomers:
I love scented plants and especially this amazing four o'clocks which open at dusk! The fragrance is wonderful and it is a real thrill to see the plants open...........
Japanese anemones: The foliage is disease resistant, japanese beetles don't attack this plant and it is wonderful to have a late blooming flower. My farvorite are the pink but I have white as well.
There are more late bloomers I love too but I will post them later this week! For now, I am off to prepare for my granddaughter who should be arriving soon!
There are more late bloomers I love too but I will post them later this week! For now, I am off to prepare for my granddaughter who should be arriving soon!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
This is George
This is George. He lives next door and Seamus has been wanting to meet him for a long time. 10 days ago, they finally met. And Seamus, despite his great size and puppy excitability, was ever so gentle with George (good thing too, because I swear George could take Seamus in a minute if they ever brawled). Seamus smelled George all over and at one point, he looked at me as if to say: "This dog has the weirdest scent!"
So now when George and Seamus are both outside, we know they can be trusted to play nicely (well--for as long as George will tolerate this puppy).
So now when George and Seamus are both outside, we know they can be trusted to play nicely (well--for as long as George will tolerate this puppy).
Thursday, August 13, 2009
In Memory of Jake
My oldest and dearest friend Linda and I have done most of the important stuff in our adult lives together: raised kids, divorces, remarriages, and then when our kids grew up, we got our empty nest puppies: she got Jake and I got Paddie.
This week dear old Jake passed on. In his young heyday, he was a regular nut boy, bounding here and there and joyfully welcoming everyone to his home. He was full of love. The last few times I had been up at Linda's farm, Jake hadn't been moving well and was clearly functioning with chronic pain. This week, surrounded by his people, Linda and Jim, and in the barn he loved to rest in, he went to the highest heaven where all dogs belong. Be at peace and without pain, Jake. We will miss you.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Still busy....
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
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